Time went on, Brise became a homeschooled kid and has homeschooled longer than Kazz. I fell into the roll of "Homeschool Mom," identified with that title and ran with it. The lifestyle that we happened upon has become us...our thing...MY thing...the thing I do. I am a Homeschool Group founder. I have homeschooling friends. I enjoy my children and believe in the homeschooling lifestyle...for those who can do it, want to do it and need to do it.
During our years of "being" a homeschooling family, we've also "been" a
foster family, adoptive family, converting-to-Roman-Catholic family, and
growing family. In the past 7 years we have burgeoned from a family of 4 people to a family
of nine. Add to that the fact that our four youngest children are VERY close in
age, and it has come to my attention...the day I passed out cold in the
floor due to high blood pressure/anxiety/stress....that our lives have
transformed drastically since we first made the decision to homeschool. 
Our family has gotten a LOT bigger and I have gotten a little bit older...ahem... I find myself to be the proverbial frog, sitting in a pot of cool, relaxing water that has slowly gotten warmer over time. The homeschooling oasis of a pool has begun to boil....and I have been lucky enough to notice.
It dawned on me that day, that maybe...just maybe...homeschooling isn't "us" anymore. But I fought it. I mean, "I'M SHELLY! I am a Homeschool Group Founder!!" How can homeschooling not be right for our family after all this time? How can that be?
I have never been one to look down upon people for sending their
children to school. I do believe that Homeschooling is NOT for
everybody. Every family is different and no one lifestyle choice can
possibly fit every family. People who know me well, know that I've
always believed this. But what happens when WE become one of those
families? What happens when, one day, it becomes painfully clear that homeschooling is NOT for us? What then?I had a lot of soul searching to do.
It turns out that I am still Shelly and still 'want' to homeschool, but my thoughts are not God's Thoughts. He has led our family to a point where our Catholic Children can be blessed by a Catholic education. One that I am not prepared to deliver...yet.
Our family experiences compose my being. Our journey orchestrates my existence; And I have come to realize, not so willingly, that we are still on that journey. Things change and our life...it HAS changed. Our family and my life simply cannot be summed up by one "thing" or one "lifestyle" choice; nor should it be. 
Yes, I am still a Homeschool Leader in the sense that I can still help people who want to homeschool. That knowledge is part of me. I know it like the back of my hand. I am still a Foster Parent...though I am not a foster parent. I can still help people become foster parents because I know it like the back of my hand. I am still a mother, though my children are marrying off, leaving the nest and growing. I can still offer young/new mothers my personal life-experience and advice, because I know it like the back of my hand.
The difference, however, is that I've grown into a mature woman who has to let go of the past. I feel God saying, 'Life Changed...Get used to it Shelly.' So, here I am stating the obvious; just to get used to the words...the facts. I am a mother of children who attend a private, Catholic school, a son who is married and a son who is about to enter college. I am homeschooling a high-schooler and hope to do the same with all of our children. I am still learning, growing and changing. Our family is ever morphing from one experience to another and I cannot fight it any more.
Who wants to live in a straight line anyway? It's the curve in the road that keep us guessing, right? Okay. So Be it. Amen.
1 comment:
Amen! I have a similuar story....and havn't figured out how to spell it out. Thank you. We foster, have adopted, I send three to school (public due to foster care) homeschool a high school and a 4th grader, although I really would like him to goto school. Each family does what they need to do for their family and what is best for their family.
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