Warning...rambling thoughts about to occur...
In some ways it seems like a long, long time ago that I broke my Tibia in two places. I was told that either break is hard to repair and to overcome and that I somehow managed to inflict both on myself at the same time.
Doctor: "This break is the worst break a person can have in their leg. You can now count yourself among the 1% of people who have ever been able to accomplish this type of break."
Well, whippy-ding-dong and hoopty-doo. Welcome to the club! LOL
I guess my doctor isn't one to mince words, he flat out told me that my leg will never be the same and I'd have to accept that.
Doc: "You won't walk the same, it won't feel the same, it will never be the same."
Well, Alrighty then...
So how is life 7 months after the surgery??
I can see the big bulge there where the metal sticks out and the scars are really pretty. :-) But I'm walking. I was at a wedding last night and couldn't dance to anything but slow songs...but I never could dance so nothing was different there! LOL
My Handicapped Parking Sign, that I hang in my car, will expire in 2 short weeks. That sign is one more thing that will be thrown away, put out of sight and forgotten about this experience.
I will look the same, sound the same and if nobody watches too closely I'm learning to walk with only a slight limp. That too, I hope, will become something I can manage to do with minimal thought before too long.
But things are definitely different. I stand up and have to balance myself. I turn and have to think about how to raise my foot and plant my feet. I watch people dance and know I can't. I watch the kids sit on the floor indian style and remember, I can't. I watch people cross their legs and remember, I can't. I watch people sit on their heels to talk with their child in the grass at the park. I can't.
For the most part the injury is something I see, feel and think about. Others forget...and I like that.
But then there are the times when the kids want me to jump on the trampoline, run to race them to the car, or walk around the block with them. I'm glad they forget but it's like a jolt when they remember. I laugh and look at them like they are teasing me....but I sink a little inside, because it is in those times when THEY think about it and know I'm different. That is when I feel a little blue. I can handle knowing my limits but I don't want to be seen as limited by them.
I can walk. I can sit. I can drive. I can walk around a park with my family...very slowly. :-) I CAN do a lot and I'm so glad for that.
But man, what I wouldn't give to go back and change that one step.